Muddy Puddles

You see, while all the world is trying to move forward and pretend that everything is getting back to “normal,” whatever unhealthy state that was, there are many of us caught in these puddles of standing water, seemingly unable to move…

Spring is here. And I think the warmer weather has us all so desperately wanting to forget the reality happening for so many around us.

You see, while all the world is trying to move forward and pretend that everything is getting back to “normal,” whatever unhealthy state that was, there are many of us caught in these puddles of standing water, seemingly unable to move.

Maybe it started with a single death, or a dozen. Or maybe a really bad breakup. Or a job that ended. Or perhaps it was an illness that has taken over every waking and non-waking hour. Or some people were just so much healthier in our alternate reality these last two years that now, being forced to return to a world of consistent and constant movement is physically draining them or worse. Or frankly it could be the realization that there is still so much communal grief in our midst that for some it has become too much.

Honestly, there are a myriad of small lakes in our midst where people are at various stages of treading water, floating, sinking, or drowning – usually depending on the day. Because the truth is that grief doesn’t ever go away. Some of us may get better at carrying it, but quite honestly it still hurts like hell on earth and there are still many days where it feels as though the water is winning and we can’t breathe. When waking up feels like drudging out of the mud from the bottom of the pool and getting out of bed takes every bit of strength you’ve got.

But the world doesn’t like to talk about that. Or that it never ends. Or that even though God gave us one another to carry this load together, we are really, really bad at it. Usually because if we acknowledge the pain in someone else, then we have to admit what is happening within ourselves.

So yeah, spring is here. If you need to find me, I’ll be in my muddy puddle over here, trying to float on my good days. And if you’re in one of my neighboring lakes, I’m always willing to share my rubber duck.

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