For some reason this year I just can’t. Perhaps it is the dreams my brain has been sending of my late husband walking through the door, coming home, and walking at that. But every movement towards Christmas feels like I am walking through the ooey-gooey molasses we all use for our gingerbread. Painful steps and slow. Like walking uphill in deep snow. Both ways.
In all sincerity, though, today the song that resonated was one that Brad actually introduced me to that was originally recorded by Amy Grant in the early ’90s. I had never heard it before our choir sang it at our church in South Carolina. And it later was special to me as I was pregnant with the Little Giants over Advent.
Now, I appreciate Breath of Heaven especially for its chorus: Breath of heaven hold me together. Be forever near me, Breath of heaven. Breath of heaven lighten my darkness. Pour over me your holiness, for you are holy, Breath of heaven.
Though I know it is Mary speaking as she faces the unimaginable, I echo the prayer. The need to have God’s Spirit, in Hebrew literally meaning “breath” nearby. I’ve always known that was the only way I was still standing as it was. Now I feel that need in spades.
I know I am not alone in this feeling. It may be for different reasons, but I am all too aware that many are feeling overwhelmed and submerged this season. My promise is that you are not alone. And the best hope I can offer is that you can get through it.
Part of the reason I love this song is that is nudges us to remember that when we feel like we cannot breathe, God breathes for us.
So, if nothing else, just be. You can do this.
Even Before 